4.29.2004

i love the vegas

Can I just tell you how much I'm not looking forward to the big meeting this afternoon? Once a quarter, the big boss, Marc, holds an All Hands Staff Meeting... which actually sounds kinda dirty now that I think about it. Regardless, the All Hands Staff Meeting (hereafter referred to as AHSM) is one of those rare events which manages simultaneously to bore you to tears, crush your eternal soul and sap you of your will to live. That kind of mind-numbing, spirit-killing power is truly (trulytrulytruly) awe-inspiring. Did I say "awe-inspiring?" I meant "horrific." Trulytrulytruly horrific, who-o-o-oah AHSM!

Several factors contribute to the all-encompassing evil that is the AHSM:
  1. Since it is an organizational-wide staff meeting, material from all of the branches is covered, so the chances that you don't know and don't care about a particular topic are pretty fucking good.
  2. Attendance is mandatory for every employee in Marc's organizational hierarchy. There are 200+ people huddled around the speakerphone in conference rooms across the country and you know what? At least 30 of them are going to have to put their two cents in during the Q&A session which extends the life (or death, really) of the meeting by 30 - 45 minutes. Fuckers.
  3. Marc is scary. I imagine that after work, he rips off his human face, hops on the back of a winged beast and retires to a darkened pit where he feasts on the charred flesh of newborn babies.


Wish me luck.