so back to my reality tv ban, or as i like to call it "ahe is allowed only 7 minutes of reality tv a week from now until the end of time."
that's going straight to the shitter, my friends. to quote jed bartlet's liberal messiah president precursor, michael douglas in an american president, i'm throwing it out and writing a law that makes sense and that law is as follows: ahe will refrain from watching all reality television except america's top model and real world/road rules: the inferno because they are awesome, yo. the model show--they're just fucking with those vain, shallow, skinny bitches and ah love it...plus tyra banks is all charitably active and whatnot. as for the inferno...well it hasn't actually premiered yet, but i watched the preview on mtv last night and nearly wet myself. trishelle and mike had a rocky split because she's a cheating whore, psycho katie has returned to stir it up and melissa vs. julie has turned into coral vs. julie and i love that big bitch coral...man, she don't take shit from anybody and she's hot too. my favorite interaction to come: julie challanges coral to wrestle "like men" and coral says: "wrestle? i don't wrestle, i fucking beat bitches up!" SWEET.
oh, i am pumped. what heavenly catharsis.
in other news, johnny depp was nominated for an academy award for his role as captain jack sparrow in pirates of the carribbean: the curse of the black pearl. tom cruise and russell crowe were not nominated for anything. cold mountain got the shaft. that little chick from whale rider is up for best actress. lost in translation could nab best film, or best actor for the parless bill murray. "a kiss at the end of the rainbow" from a mighty wind is up for best song. meireilles was nominated for directing city of god which made my heart hurt. anthony minghella is softly weeping in a low-lit room right now. hah-hah, IN YOUR FACE, GOLDEN GLOBES!!! the academy awards are so much cooler than you are and always will be. thought you could jump the gun, come out early and swinging and sway the oscar voters to your second-rate taste, didn't you. in the immortal words of wynn rankin: eat this shit, yo.
